Mary Christmas

Princess Dea
We've just arrived home with a new baby girl, Mary Dea.

We chose the name Mary, inspired by the upcoming Season of Advent and Christmas, celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ born to the Virgin Mary. Dea is a rather bold name for a mortal, because dea is Latin for goddess (Deo is Latin for God).

It's still a big shock to be a mother of four. I suddenly realised (on Day 3) I have two daughters now! I think we're adjusting well but I understand Mary's feelings better now, when she cries when we put her down in the crib in the dark and she's all alone. I had a feeling yesterday how close we've been together for the past nine months, her heartbeat next to mine. It's easy for me swaddle her up, set her down, and walk away to the kitchen to do some chores; but I suddenly realized how hard that distance of separation must be for her.

I'm pretty sure this will be our last pregnancy. I feel safe and comfortable to say that because four kids is really a full load to have enough time and attention for everyone. Just gathering Maggie and AJ for before/ after school care (this week only) and Lincoln for full days (from here on after), shoving them into the car with snowpants and snowboots intact took super human effort. Next week we'll be walking to the bus stop again but this time with a new baby in tow.

The other reason I am more sure that I will never want to deliver another baby again is that I ended up delivering naturally I suppose, without the epidural this time only and had this been the first child, well let me just say there would not be four kids!

The girlfriends who are moms want to ask, how was the labour? The single ladies would rather not know the gory details! Well I know to simplify my story enough in polite company, people just don't want to know. But for my record here is my story here. Mary was born at 8:42AM on Tuesday December 4, 2012 at 6 pounds 2 oz.

Active Labour

The OB actually expected that my labour would progress rather quickly being the fourth pregnancy, and considering that I was in labour for only 3 hours when Lincoln was born. He was mildly concerned if I'd make it to the hospital that was 20 minutes away.

Therefore, in comparison the labor was quite long. We rushed to the hospital at 2am. I was even contemplating to drive the hospital myself at around 1am because I told Brian I wasn't sure about it and if be I would be sent home. But at some point we agreed that was silly and we'd better call their Uncle Barry and Aunt Liz to come over since they'd be dropping off the kids at daycare early in the morning.

 

When I arrived at the unit, I was 5 cm.  The menstrual-like cramps were ok just troublesome until about 6am I was still 7cm.  I opted for laughing gas to take the edge of the pain.  I knew my OB would be on duty at 8am and I was hoping I didn't have to wait that long. I declined the epidural cuz it was better explained to me that it's for labour pains and I didn't have to worry about the rip and the tear at the end because they give a local anesthetic before the suturing anyway. At 8 something ish, I was 9cm but the cervix was still too far back or the baby's face was not yet turned facing the right way.  The pain was getting more intense now, and I started freaking out and screaming that I couldn't breathe (but I already read about it that this is called panic breathing as expected so I managed to tell myself to calm time) I shouted desperately if there was till time for an epidural (and I think the resident lied and said yah sure we'll call him, but I know they never did, LOL) I totally regretted not getting it earlier at that point, but this is the point of no return. They broke my water and then things happened very quickly, I probably gave a gentle push cuz they said to hold back a bit on the head, and then three or four hard pushes. and BAM like jelly the baby rolls out. I only needed two or three stitches along my old scar.

 

I didn't want to hold the baby right away, I guess I was still shaking from the adrenalin, and my bed was super high so I just wasn't ready to hold her. So Brian was holding her for a long time until I was ready to do skin to skin. I'm gonna say giving birth is a rather traumatic experience, now I definitely know I don't ever want to do that again so it's a good thing it's number 4.

 

The Room with a View

Bay of Quinte, maternity ward.

 

I ended up staying in the ward with three beds, so there were three new moms in the room. Their babies were quiet but Mary was the loud one. I actually didn't mind the hustle and bustle of the frequent visitors they had. I realize that we are new to the city without too much family in town. In fact my husband only "visited" me once the first evening from 9 to 10pm to bring some food, and then later the next day when he came to pick us up at 4pm.

 

The first lady Ashlee had a baby boy, her third child. The older sisters age 9 and  6 came to visit with dad and grandpa and they were so excited to hold him.  The second lady Angel had a baby girl, her first child. Her husband stayed with her the whole time and I think he slept nearly as much as the baby did curled up in the couch. They were such a cute young couple probably in the early twenties with alot of phone calls and visits from family.

 
Hungry Bear

I spent most of my time feeding the baby or trying to fall asleep. In between we were always getting poked and prodded by nurses for assessments and sugar tests, and reminders to feed the baby.  The hospital food was actually alright. I suppose when you're a breastfeeding mother who just gave birth, and you're hungry as a momma bear, anything tastes good. I kept raiding the fridge for cheese sandwiches and milk and cheese. I must have said something out loud that I was super hungry and always looking for food. My roommates gave me a McDonald's Cheeseburger and fries and even two slices of Pizza. I was quite touched by their generosity. I had nothing to offer in return, other than to hold the camera to take a picture of the family, which was golden too.

 

Where's Lincoln?

I called my parents, and my grandma at her new senior residence. I meant to call my sister and brothers but I just kept falling asleep searching for the number of waiting for the right time zone to call.  I learned to use my new smart phone to take a few pictures (if you know me and how resistant I am to new technology, this is a big deal).  I even managed to text a few friends, but I knew that everyone was at work. It's good to be home now.