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Friday, June 24, 2011

The World According to Preschoolers

Brian asks Maggie, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
Maggie: "Egg"
Where does the egg come from
Maggie: "Hatch"
From what?
Maggie: "A hen"
Where does the hen come from?
Maggie: "A farm"

AJ and Maggie are often concerned about which animal eats what, as in a food chain sequence.
Who eats bugs? Spiders
Who eats spiders? Other spiders
WHo eats other spiders? Birds
Who eats birds? Cats
Who eats cats? No one. (really?)

Do sharks eat humans? Sometimes.
Who eats sharks? Humans.

Who eats squid-Ursula? Daddy
Who eats jellyfish? Daddy

What do gophers eat? Carrots, tomatoes, leaves
Who eats gophers? Fox, wolves
Who eats fox, wolves? Coyotes
Who eats coyotes? No one, but hunters shoot them.

Later we talk about vultures.
What do vultures eat? Dead animals on the street.
Do vultures eat humans? Well if they're dead in the street
Do vultures eat humans in a grave? No they can't; there's a box.

AJ: Do dinosaurs eat humans?
Mom: No, humans were not there at the same time as dinosaurs.
Maggie: Humans live far far away.
AJ: Who eats dinosaurs?
Maggie/ Mom:Other dinosaurs.
AJ:What do other dinosaurs eat?
Mom: Leaves, ferns.
Maggie: Yah dinosaurs hate kid-meat. Kids are yuck.

Maggie: When I was a baby I busted out of your tummy right?
(Background: I used to affectionately refer to Lincoln as a belly-buster because of his excessive burps and belly busting spit up. She didn't quite understand that meant, so I said it was because he busted out of my tummy).
Another time, Maggie: When I was a small baby, I was at your wedding right?
Mom: No, you were just a small dot. Actually you were an egg.
(Background: She asks me this everytime we drive by the church on the army base where we got married)
Another time, Maggie: So I was a small egg at your wedding?
Mom: Well, just an egg part, but not like a real egg. Also part of you was in Daddy's pouch.
(Background: I hope that she won't ask where is Daddy's pouch, I guess I could say his pants, those would be still correct answers. I believe in telling the whole truth but in age appropriate language).

The kids watch a show called Making Stuff on TVO kids, so they get a sense of what things are created by God, what is built by Bob the Builder, and what is made by robots.
They ask me all the time, who made this, who made that. Here are some model answers they know and now quiz each other.

Made by God - Rocks, bugs, spiders, animals, humans, skeletons, dinosaurs
Made by Bob the Builder - house, Vanessa's house, bridges, roads
Robots - Hot Wheels, cars, cups, plates, pianos, tools, glass

I try my best to offer the whole truth, but sometimes I have to simplify the lingo

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