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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Biggest Piece of Chicken for Daddy

What's Cooking for Dinner?

There was an episode of "Everybody Loves Chris" I remember vaguely, where momma had to leave for work before dinnertime and she specifically asked Chris and his brothers to not touch the chicken she saved for daddy's dinner. Chris agreed to guard it, and there was a flash forward cut out to an image of daddy coming home from work and chowing down on this very juicy, yummy and delicious chicken. (I forgot the rest of the episode; I'm assuming something happened to that chicken and Chris learned a hard lesson to make that a funny story).
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In another comedy piece by Chris Rock, he does a short piece on parenthood. I can quote this if not word for word, "... save the biggest piece of chicken for daddy...  after a long hard day at work, is it  too much to ask for just the biggest piece of chicken?!"

I was not yet a parent when I saw these chicken jokes, and I did not understand the gravity of the situation until it actually happened to me. So last week, all week in fact, I had an enormous craving for deep fried chicken. I ordered Mary Brown's Chicken and Taters twice and even I brought 25 pieces of friend chicken to my brother in law's housewarming party. Anyway it was the time when I only bought the four piece meal that I ran into a situation.

Who eats my food anyway?
My biggest beef with cooking dinner sometimes is that I often feel unappreciated when kids, just being kids, just don't want to eat my food. It feels worse when I slave all day (cooking amazing ribs or pork chops in the slow cooker) and my husband who comes home from work and expects dinner to be served ready and hot, doesn't even see the ribs and ends up cooking his own won ton soup and noodles. As well, my husband has recently decided to cut down on rice and meat, so he's been trying to eat more healthy by having more vegetables and fruits. Therefore on this particular day at Mary Brown's I was only thinking about myself and my kids, like why would he even want to eat fried chicken?

So the kids and I are devouring three pieces of the bestest, crunchiest fried chicken in the world (it's alot different than KFC. I like KFC too but this is way different) when he arrives and joins us for dinner. That's all we're having cuz I just didn't feel like cooking. (This guy is just gonna make his own bowl of noodles anyway like yesterday!) He grabs the last piece!!! O well that's ok, he'll never finish it anyway, so it's still MINE!  Bwahahahahaha. He sets it down half eaten on the plate and I proceed to grab it because he's the kind of guy who leaves half the meat on chicken wings at the pub. I would never "finish" them off for him, ever, in public or not (that's just wrong) but we're at home and this is Mary Brown's!

There is a showdown.... does he take the food from the pregnant lady, or does daddy get the biggest piece of chicken??? What does that really mean? It comes down to two words, love and sacrifice.

We laugh about this whole scenario, and I let go. Hey I can buy more next time which is what he said I should've done, so I have redeemed myself when I buy 25 at the next visit.

True Love and Sacrifice

Well I think that's just want that quote from Chris means; giving daddy what he deserves. It might seem odd because as a mom, you're looking out for your kids, they're number one, you have to feed them first. This is BIOLOGY! However love in a marriage is possibly more than biology, there is priority. It's important to remember to put that guy who made the kids, in first place and think of him too. That was a moment of revelation for me, as small and insignificant as it may seem.

There was another quote from "Everybody Loves Chris" about his father.  In this show the narrator is little Chris himself of course. One time he made a comment about his father, someone ordinary yet someone is he is proud of. He said something like, "That's my dad, he goes to work and he comes home every night. Hey in this neighborhood, that's saying alot. There are lots of kids on this block and their daddy never sticks around..."

Chinese Man Sues Wife for Ugly Baby
A recent trending story that may or may not prove true has been making the rounds on the Internet outside of China.  At first I thought it was really funny and I shared the link of facebook and laughed about it. But a friend commented, what a broken world. I soon realized, how very sad that someone's husband or father doesn't love the family anymore because of looks.  If you read the story, the father is basically upset with his ugly baby with a double chin (but I thought all newborns were squishy and ugly anyway) and demanded a DNA test which indeed proved his fatherhood. However he later discovered that his wife had spent thousands on plastic surgery in Korea before they met, so he somehow felt misled and demanded a divorce.

I'm married but I feel like a single parent, is this normal?

In light of all the things I experienced this week, this topic caught my eye. It's from a mom forum and I responded multiple times with my pearls of wisdom, and more random quotes from Chris Rock!

I think it's important to understand that men and women have different roles in a relationship and in the caring of children. I find that as mom, I end up taking care of the food and clothing needs of the children (that would include shopping for groceries, cooking dinner, buying clothes, laundry, folding etc and the general operations of the household including chores etc).
However this is not truly parenting but "general household operations". I learned to appreciate my husband for being a strong authorative figure and for taking care of the bigger things like managing the issues of buying a house, RESP's, saving for retirement.. mind you we both work and we have similar paying professional jobs so I feel equal in that capacity. But there is a good quote we both laugh about from Chris Rock. "If there's no heat in the house, that's the daddy's problem. If the kids can't read or write good, that's the mommy's problem"

Sorry I did not get a chance to read some of the posts before I so quickly responded to the original tagline post. Things are sometimes very complicated, and a simple reply I might have may not apply to all scenarios. Being a mom of three plus one (due in a week) I feel that I have sometimes completely neglected my husband's love, care and nurturing needs, well except for a dinner that I am already cooking for the kids. That relationship with the husband is so important, it's kinda annoying that it should actually be a priority even when all that stuff is going with the kids and the house chores. Where is the love? I think it's hard to be a good dad or husband when this super hot sexy chic he married/ dated whatever suddenly becomes a very busy, tired, weepy, often impatient screaming tyrant with kids (that's me). I cry alot too probably pg hormones but I try to hide it. I think it's so important to hold on to love, if that's all there is to hold to. Please don't ever let go, if you still love each other. Anyway I was just reading the story about the ugly baby in China; the father divorced the mother and demanded a DNA test to find out he is indeed the father, but it was the mother who spent a million bucks on plastic surgery so he felt duped into marrying the wrong woman. wut?? What about love?

Did anyone ever notice that a little baby boy has a mommy to take care of him all his life. Then he grows up to be a man and marries a really nice wife who ends up taking care of him too... so it's so much easier being a boy/ man in this world. I shocked my husband when I said that I would rather hope that our baby (due next week) is a boy because it's so hard being a girl and growing up to be a mom/ wife. Well everything that anyone is saying on this forum is proving that to be true. Hang in there!

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